Time is Up

My time is up.

It is hard to believe that seven weeks have come and gone.

It is harder still to know that Warner is six and a half weeks old.  And forever has my heart.

It is Sunday evening.

The eve of my return to work.

The eve to my new normal.

Tomorrow, I go be throwing a huge role back into my life, on my plate.  A role that I don't take lightly.  But a role that needs to come in 2nd place to my family.

I am a workaholic.  There, I admitted it.  I always feel like I can do better.  Be better.  Serve better.

HOWEVER, I MUST determine within myself that I cannot balance all that is one my plate to 100% perfection.  I try.  I fail.  My family gets the scraps of me.

I must determine that they will not get the scraps.  That they will get the wife and mother that they need.  And deserve.

My prayer for tomorrow and beyond, is that I can be a great wife.  a great mom. and a good teacher.  That all those who I come into contact with daily will feel my love for them and see the Lord through me.  That is a tall order.

And I fail at it repeatedly.

But tonight that is my prayer.

I have such a supportive family and friends.  I have received many texts today of well wishes, thoughts, and prayers.  My amazing hall at school has told me not to pack a lunch tomorrow, that they are bringing food.

I am so blessed.  Blessed to be Brian's wife and the Mama to three amazing boys.  To have a wonderful, supportive family and friends.  To have a job at a loving school.  To lay on a pillow in a warm, cozy bed tonight.  I am blessed, even if my time is up.  He knows far better what is best for me.