Today, I reflect on the celebration of Mother's Day. In all of the celebration, my mind and heart keep going back to seven years ago. The Mother's Day of 2006 was by far the world's worst day for me. I had an empty womb where a baby once grew. My heart and arms were empty. And hope seemed lost. I grieved that day. I hurt as I watched others be celebrated for something that I so desperately and willingly wanted to be. I tried to find the strength to muster up a smile to show that I was strong, but my heart was crushed. I had a toxic concoction of heartbreak and anger. God knew. He knew the deepest crevices of my hurt. He knew that I didn't understand. He knew that I was mad at Him. He knew that I could only see my 'present' while He viewed my 'future.' And He loved me anyway. He opened my eyes to a world of pain that so many women (and men) experience. I pray that I never forget. Somehow, I don't think that I will. It cuts down deep into my heart and memory.
For those who have aching hearts today, I understand. Even though my understanding is only smidge of what you might be going through, I have been there for a season. My prayer for you is that your deepest desires will be given to you. That you will experience the full-throttle nature of being a mom. Whether it is via the path that you have chosen or one that our Creator is leading you down, I pray that the title of "mom" be yours.
Jeremiah 29:11
Thanks for this, Ash.
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